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A Cephalopod's Castle
A Cephalopod's Castle is the 13th episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the thirteenth episode of season one. In this episode, after SpongeBob enrages Squidward with another one his stunts and tricks, Squidward decides to travel somewhere, yet he doesn’t care where. On his trek, he encounters many different people, things, and environments. He then comes across a hotel named “Cephalopod Castle”, a hotel specifically for squid. Will Squidward learn the secret behind this so-called hotel… and learn an important lesson at the same time? Characters *Squidward Tentacles *SpongeBob SquarePants *Patrick Star *Mr. Krabs (cameo) *Customer 1 (speaking parts) *Male Fish 1 *Female Fish 1 (considerable cameos) *Director (debut and cameo) *Seagull (debut and cameo) *Gill (debut and cameo) *Fish 1 *Fish 2 *Fish 3 *Fish 4 *Fish 5 *Room Service Waiter (debut and cameo) Transcript *''starts with SpongeBob on top of a large ramp, wearing skates'' *'SpongeBob: '''Get ready, Bikini Bottom! ''cuts out to an empty landscape, only with Patrick in the distance ''As I was saying, get ready the thrill of a lifetime! Watch as an ordinary sea sponge skates down a thirty foot ramp! *'Patrick: So what? *'SpongeBob: '''Patience, Mr. Star. I will land inside a small kitty-pool atop this conviently-placed Eastern Island Head. ''reveals Squidward's house *'Patrick: '''Eastern Island Head? I thought this was Squid-nerd's house. *'SpongeBob: 'Patrick, it's actually...never mind. ''on skates ''Time to do this! I would like to thank everyone that gave me my starting motive, such as you, Patrick. *'Patrick: ''around What now? *'SpongeBob: And...uh...that's about it. Let's do this! down ramp and is launched into the air ''Brace yourself, SquarePants. This landing is going to be quite short. *cuts to Patrick, looking through binoculars'' *'Patrick: '''Look at him go! So gracefully flying through the air. *'SpongeBob: ''on a couch, with lamp, sipping a cup of tea Hmm...could have been a little stronger. ''on coffee table ''I guess I could do something else. *'Patrick: He's going to stick the landing...I think. binoculars on ground ''Whoops. Good think I have a backup. ''in pocket ''Or was that the backup? Hmm. *'SpongeBob: ''novel ...And that is why the sea is known as Bikini Bottom. ''novel ''Not such a bad book. ''at a page ''But there is a grammar mistake. ''novel and shakes head ''Better alert the publisher. *'Patrick: through telescope ''Binoculars are overrated anyway. Look at him go. He's going to stick the landing! *'SpongeBob: ''stool, typing on typewriter If you could fix the error, that would be great. ''publish button ''That should do it. ''down ''Better stick the landing. ''from stool ''Time for a clothing change. ''through rail of clothing, escaping with a jumpsuit complete with a parachute ''Almost there! ''blue cord ''Or was it the red cord? ''red cord ''Uh oh. *cuts to Squidward, walking out of house with beach shorts on, carrying a beach chair'' *'Squidward: 'in a long sniff and exhales ''Nothing like a refreshing day under the rays of the sun. ''in and exhales again *'Female Fish 1: 'offscreen ''Excuse me, sir! Sir! ''onscreen ''Stop exhaling! You're infecting the air! ''a toothbrush ''Brush your teeth or I'm calling the cops! *'Squidward: out toothbrush, appearing to be in his mouth ''Some people these days. noise What's that noise? ''up beach chair ''Probably just that idiot, SpongeBob. ''down table ''I am not going to let him ruin my relaxation day. ''on beach chair *''cuts to SpongeBob on walkie-talkie'' *'''SpongeBob: ''walkie-talkie Am I nearing the target, Mr. Star? *'Patrick: walkie-talkie ''You're almost there. Just a little bit further. *'SpongeBob: ''into ball This is it. ''walkie-talkie ''When do you think I land in the...on corner of kiddie-pool, spilling the water I thought you said I was almost there. *'Patrick: walkie-talkie ''I wasn't talking to you. I'm looking at the most majestic of all the jellyfish. Look at him go. *cuts to the inside of the telescope, where a jellyfish is swimming smoothly yet quickly'' *'Patrick: '''Whoa! Look at him go! *'Squidward: 'Keep it down over there, starfish! ''on radio ''Those imbiciles are not going to prevent me from relaxing. Whatever I do, they're not going to spill water over my head. ''of water falls over Squidward's head *'''Patrick: ''to Squidward You really need to get your plumbing fixed, Squidward. *'SpongeBob: onto Squidward ''Hey, Squidward. Gee, you should really get your plumbing looked at. *'Squidward: 'I'll have you know ''up and kicks beach chair away ''that this is your fault! Now, I will ask your kindly to please...clean up your mess up!! *'SpongeBob: 'No problem, Squidward. I'm a sponge. I'll just absorb the water and spray it somewhere safe. ''water; sprays water, hitting the ramp ''See, Squidward. ''around ''Safe and sound. *wood crashes into Squidward's house, destroying it'' *'SpongeBob: '''Well, at least we're safe and sound. *of wood crushes Squidward'' *'''Squidward: ''plank of wood; begins to growl SpongeBob...Patrick...you...! ''to grow in anger yet becomes zen ''have set everything into perspective. *'Patrick: What does that mean? *'''Squidward: ''Patrick's face It means that you have made me realize something I should have done long ago. ''arms out into distance ''I need to leave this dead-end town for somewhere more classy. Somewhere where I can find solitude from the common folk. ''self ''Or even simpletons like you two. *'SpongeBob: Squidward's legs ''No, Squidward. You can't leave. Think about all of the stuff you'll be, leaving behind. Your house. Your friends. The Krusty Krab. *cuts to Krusty Krab'' *'''Mr. Krabs: ''at table talking to customer So many people may not know this, but make sure that you spend less than you make. That way, you save more green. *'Customer 1: What does green mean? *'Mr. Krabs: '''You know. Dough. Clams. *'Customer 1: 'Oh, you mean money. *'Mr. Krabs: 'No. I'm talking about... *cuts to SpongeBob at Squidward's legs'' *'SpongeBob: '''Please don't go, Squidward. ''up portrait of Grandma Tentacles ''Your grandma. *'Squidward: ''back and takes portrait Aw, grandma. ''silence ''I...don't care. ''portrait away ''I am perfectly independent, meaning I can make my own decisions, and I decide that I am leaving. ''legs from SpongeBob's grasp ''Final...choice! ''walking away *'Patrick: '''Let him go. He needs his distance...I think. He's his own cephalopod now. A cephalopod who needs his plumbing looked at. *cuts to Squidward, walking abruptly down the sidewalk'' *'Squidward: '''Now I have no home. No money, and now, I'm walking down a street...pans out to road, showing loads of cars...during rush hour. Can this get any worse? *runs over a large puddle of water, heading toward Squidward'' *'Squidward: 'water ''Ha! I'm not getting hit with water again. *'Male Fish 1: Do you mind if I rinse my mouth here, sir? *'Squidward: '''Not at all. *'Male Fish 1: ''water and begins to gurgle; spits water out Thank you, sir. ''gasps *'Squidward: 'covered with water ''Well, it looks like it really can get worse. ''male fish's shirt off, wiping off face ''Thanks for nothing. ''shirt down and stomps away *'Male Fish 1: '''What did I do? *cuts to Squidward, walking down a Sandy field with the sun beating down on him'' *'Squidward: '''Woo! ''off sweat ''It's getting kind of hot. What I wouldn't do to have that sweet lemonade from earlier today. ''by glass of lemonade on ground ''Ooh! Just my luck! ''to lift the lemonade glass ''Seems to be a little stuck. *attempts to lift glass, only to fall onto the ground'' *'Squidward: '''This glass must be rigged! ''glass, causing the lemonade to spill out *'Voice: '''Cut, cut, cut! *begin to take down a large portrait of a Sandy landscape with a setting sun; more fish walk away with boom microphones and scripts'' *'Squidward: '''What in coral caverns is going on here?! *'Director: What is going on here?! What is going on here is you getting in the way of the shooting of the biggest movie of the year in Bikini Bottom! *'Squidward: '''How exactly did I get in here? *'Director: 'That's what I would like to know! *cuts to outside of movie building, where Squidward is kicked out onto the sand'' *'Director: '''Now stay out of this building! ''the door shut *'''Squidward: ''off self Some people. ''walking ''I better continue walking...before it gets dark. *cuts to Squidward, sitting on the sand, in the darkness'' *'Squidward: '''Who knew that it could turn from complete sunlight to complete darkness in five minutes. I wonder how this could have happened. *cuts to the surface where a seagull is flying in front of the sun'' *'Seagull: '''Whoa, Gill. You were right. Sun-tanning does feel good. Now how long am I supposed to do this for? *'Gill: Oh, until you're fully roasted. fork behind him *''cuts back to a now walking Squidward'' *'Squidward: '''It's quite dark down here. ''arms ''Why be frightened, Squiddie? You're a grown squid. No need to be frightened anymore. Besides, nothing here can be scarier than living next to SpongeBob and Patrick. *large light appears in Squidward's face'' *'Squidward: '''Hello. Is anybody there? *appear with flashlights'' *'Fish 1: '''Hey look! There he is! *'Fish 2: 'Are you the one they call Squidward Tentacles? *'Squidward: 'The one and only. *'Fish 1: 'Then, you have arrived to your destination. Welcome to Cephalopod's Castle. ''out of way out building, revealing a large hotel *'Squidward: '''It's just what I've been looking for! *'Fish 1: 'It's just what we've been looking for. ''arm around Squidward ''Squids have been coming here to stay for centuries, and it was just restored. We've been expecting you, Mr. Tentacles. Allow me to show you to your room. *'Squidward: 'Thank you, kind sir. ''toward hotel with fish ''Whoa. A hotel full of squid just like me. I think I could get used to this life. *cuts to inside of Cephalopod's Castle'' *'Fish 1: '''And here, we have the room service office. It's where all of the room service squid come to serve each and every squid staying here. Just dial one and they'll come right away. *'Squidward: 'Never got that kind of service at the Krusty Krab...and I worked there. *'Fish 1: 'Here is your room, Mr. Tentacles. ''door to a large hotel room *'Squidward: '''Whoa. This is beautiful! ''over to a compartment ''It even has a compartment designed especially for clarinets! This place has it all! *'Fish 1: 'Have a nice stay, Mr. Tentacles. ''door yet leaves it open slightly ''You'll find out the secret soon enough. ''door *'''Squidward: ''into bed and places self under covers I think I'm going to like it here. ''on side, yet is awoken by strange metal tapping ''If the racket ends anytime soon. Keep it down out there! ''back on side ''Well, no one ever said paradise didn't have it's ups and downs. *cuts to next day, where Squidward wakes up, brushing his teeth'' *'Squidward: 'into sink and stops water ''That should teach that lady. ''out of bathroom ''Time for another glorious day. ''sound occurs; sighs ''Again? Must be cleaning or something. ''begins to growl ''Hmm...I guess I skipped dinner yesterday. I'm starving. *cuts to Squidward, ordering room service'' *'Squidward: 'phone ''Yes, a pancake platter with...at menu three slices of kelp bacon. ''up phone ''Shouldn't be but a half an hour. *'Room Service Waiter: Breakfast is served. *'Squidward: '''Or half a second. ''off tops ''Oh, sir. I only ordered the pancake platter and three strips of kelp... *'Room Service Waiter: 'Consider it as an "enjoy your stay" breakfast meal. ''tapping sound ''Sorry if that sound disturbed you, Mr. Tentacles. They are...uh...fixing some broken pipes. *'Squidward: 'But I thought they said this place was restored. *'Room Service Waiter: 'Uh...working out the...uh...kinks...I guess. ''out of room ''Ta ta! *'Squidward: 'Strange. But who am I to care?! ''to chow down the big breakfast meal *''cuts to a full Squidward lying on his bed'' *'Squidward: '''Woo! That meal was a doozy. I am fuller than...something that gets...well...full. I guess I should take a nap to digest the...asleep'' *''appear in room and lift Squidward onto a stretcher'' *'Fish 3: '''Just as we thought he would do. Wait until he wakes up and see what's he's in for. ''giggles *'Fish 4: '''Shh...giggles you'll wake him. *cuts to Squidward, waking up on a wooden board'' *'Squidward: '''Hey? Where am I? Why is it so dark? Why am I on a wooden board? *'Fish 5: ''out of dark I will be happy to answer all of those questions. ''out knife and fork ''Do you really think that Cephalopod's Castle is a hotel? Didn't you notice any unusual signs? *'Squidward: Well, now that you mention it...the metal clinging might have been knives chopping into...gasps...squid. This isn't a hotel! This is a restaurant! *'Fish 5: '''Precisely! A Chinese restaurant...for squid! Why do you think we gather so many squid? Didn't you even notice the weird behavior. ''scoffs ''Our waiter is so suttle. *'Squidward: 'So that's why you fattened me up. Or at least made me gain a couple of pounds. So that there would be enough Squidward to go around? *'Fish 5: 'Yep. Prepare to the biggest thing on the menu, Mr. Squidward. ''toward Squidward *''cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, outside of Cephalopod's Castle'' *'SpongeBob: '''I think he went in there, Patrick. *'Patrick: 'What makes you say that? *'SpongeBob: 'The name is...never mind. ''Patrick's shoulders ''Are you ready to make our big entrance, Patrick? *'Patrick: 'Ready-ing the ramp. ''last plank of wood onto the ramp ''The ramp is...uh...ready... *'SpongeBob: ''to be on ramp Okay. No mistakes, buddy. I have to land in the kittie-pool. No water shall be spilled this time. *'Patrick: Got it, Spongey. You're clear to fly. Or to skate. Or to launch. Or... *'SpongeBob: '''I get the memo, buddy. ''to skate down ramp, launched into air, and begins to fall to kittie-pool ''Time to land. ''on the side of kittie-pool, spilling the water Again, Patrick? *'Patrick: '''But the jellyfish is back again. ''flies in front of Patrick ''So graceful. *cuts to Squidward and Fish 5'' *'Fish 5: '''Time to cut you down to shape. ''washes onto Fish 5, flooding the hotel room and bringing them outside *'''Squidward: ''toward Patrick, and SpongeBob jumps next to Patrick'' I'm...sort of...glad you guys are here. I never thought I'd say that. *'Patrick: '''Neither did I. *'SpongeBob: Welcome back, Squidzy ol' pal. Now let's get out of here. *'Fish 5: '''Not on my watch! ''up ''Time to cut you all down to size. ''fork and knife at the gang *'SpongeBob: '''Jump! ''Squidward, and Patrick leap away from the fork and knife *'Fish 5: '''Ha, pesky fish! ''up another knife and fork ''Nothing can stop me now. ''cage falls over Fish 5 ''Fiddlesticks. *'Squidward: 'Wow! Something that you guys actually did saved my skins....literally. Now everything can go back to normal. ''exhales *'''Female Fish: ''toothbrush into Squidward's mouth Brush your teeth, you fleabag! ''away *'Squidward: '''Or at least partially normal. *ends'' Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Episodes Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season One Category:Episodes Category:The Mega Marathon Category:Templates Category:2013 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts